Organization will inject free-market competition into monopolistic behaviour of student government
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
TORONTO, Sept. 20, 2019 — Intra Vires is proud to announce the creation of the Students’ Ostracized Society (SOS), a new student society created “by law students, for law students” here at the Faculty of Law. This new organization will inject some good old free-market competition to the monopolistic market behaviour of the existing student government.
In addition to the traditional free-market values for which this Faculty is renowned, the SOS is also ardently committed to being what can only be described as “recklessly progressive”. The SOS will, for example, fund previously shunned activities such as alcohol and cannabis tastings. The society will, of course, feature blackjack (and other poker games) and hookers (and other rugby positions) in its social activities, following the guidance of Bender B. Rodríguez, a noted philosopher ahead of his time.
The SOS will pay its employees a livable wage, funded through a wholly transparent system where exactly enough is skimmed off the top to fund lavish parties exclusively for executives while also flying below the radar of our dependent auditors.
The SOS will also represent student voices to the Faculty twice as effectively as current approaches by sending half as many representatives to Faculty Council meetings. The SOS will, following the move of its competitor, hold in camera meetings with the Dean, except the meetings will also be on camera. Lastly, we propose to rename Robert’s Rules of Order to Edward’s Rules in honour of our glorious dean.
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For more information, please contact the Students’ Ostracized Society at [email protected].
