Totally real news from around the law school
UV indefinitely postponed after writers spend entire budget on munchies
The November issue of UV has been postponed due to overindulgence on the part of the writers at a meeting that definitely, absolutely, positively was held after October 17, 2018.
Chief Justice Wagner teases album release
Following the release of former Chief Justice McLachlin’s novel Full Disclosure, current Chief Justice Wagner has teased that he will be releasing a full-length album of free jazz, where he plays saxophone and bongos.
Gmail releases firm auto-reply feature
To help students deal with the stress of replying to firms’ intention emails, thank you notes, follow-up letters, and other assorted correspondence, Gmail has added a one-click feature to respond to all emails with auto-generated obsequious drivel. Best, Rory.
In Cannabis Veritus Club Disbanded
Following a revelation that the club was in fact formed prior to October 17, 2018, the entire club has been arrested. Concerned students jumped at the chance to effect a citizen’s arrest. Unfortunately, any contraband disappeared in the ensuing kerfuffle.
The Supreme Blunt Club Founded
The club founder cites the fortunate acquisition of supplies as sparking the idea. The club founder declined to say where and when the supplies had been acquired.
Missed Connections
You: a member of a prominent Bay Street firm
Me: the correct spelling of #MeToo
